“Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family.”

(Article 16 (1) of the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights.)

But apparently not - except in Denmark. Elsewhere in the world, and especially in the EU, men and women are, in practice, prevented from marrying simply because of their nationality. This is weird. International relationships are the new normal. Couples meet and date online – there are no borders there. People travel and relocate more than ever, and meet and fall in love with “foreigners”. In our own family the 4 of us in settled relationships are with other nationalities – and no one thinks it unusual. And for Danes, just remember that your Queen and her two sons all married foreigners.

So who is affected?

At Danish Island Weddings we have helped over 2700 international couples marry on Ærø, from 177 different countries. The combinations are unlimited. In some cases it is easy to see why they come to Ærø to marry – for example, a Venezuelan and Australian living in Dubai will find it difficult to marry anywhere but Denmark. Gay couples often have particular problems marrying too – most countries still do not recognise LGBT marriage. Interfaith couples have a problem as well – Hindus and Moslems can often not safely marry each other in their home countries. In the EU there is a Blue Card system which lures qualified young Indians and Chinese (mainly) to come here to live and work…who then find they cannot have an ordinary family life as it is so difficult for them as foreigners to marry their partners. Maybe harder to understand, though, is that we have many from western European countries who find it near impossible to marry each other. Quite why Portuguese/Spanish couples are given such a tough time is incomprehensible.

Why is it an issue?

For many couples it is an issue of residency. If an international couple wants to live together, one of them at least (both, if they live in a third country) will have to apply for residency in a “foreign” country. And the same bureaucratic systems which make it difficult for international couples to marry also, paradoxically, makes it much easier to get residency if you are married.

How are they denied their right to marriage?

The mechanism for making life difficult is simple enough – by asking for documents such as marital status certificates, which many countries cannot provide (and even if they do, they will not provide them to foreign residents). Other typical tricks are asking for new copies of old documents, or excessive levels of legalisation, or imposing short “shelf lives” on documents, making it impossible to synchronise getting all the necessary documents at the same time. We have heard so many Kafkaesque stories from young professional couples who have spent years – literally - trying to marry in their own countries before giving up and finding their solution with Danish Island Weddings.

Why are they denied their right to marriage?

What is the thinking behind it? Marriage is not a criminal activity (on the contrary, most countries publicly endorse marriage as an instrument of social stability). But many young international couples who have tried and failed to marry in their own countries say that is what it feels like. It appears in part to be a failure to modernise marriage laws from the days when people married the girl/boy next door. It is also partly just unfettered and unthinking bureaucracy. But it is often clearly a form of clandestine racism and an underhand way of officially or unofficially preventing immigration.

Article 16(3) of the UN declaration adds “The family is the natural and fundamental group unit of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State.” And faced with growing pressures on society, with social cohesion under threat in so many ways, most countries recognise that promoting marriage promotes social stability and values. Which raises the question; why do people ask why international couples come to get married in Denmark? When the real question they should be asking is, why does almost every country except Denmark make it so difficult for young international couples to get married at all?

Let the UK Human Rights group Liberty have the last word: “While there may be many rules around marriage, they do have to serve a purpose and must not interfere with the essence of the right itself. That means the rules shouldn’t actually stop anyone (or any group of people) from getting married if they are able and willing. So laws making some people jump through needless hoops before they can marry, or restrictions that serve no real purpose, may breach this right.”